Why is my brother a deadbeat debtor?
Sorry – this is a big long. I have an older brother who is in his 40s. He has a good job and makes good money. However, he is not financially responsible. Although he pays the bills that he has to (fixed expenditures like his mortgage, car insurance, etc.), he sees no obligation to pay other non-essential bills. Example: he’ll join several book clubs (sometimes making up false names so he can get a second set of bks delivered to his address), but he won’t pay the invoices. Same w/magazine subscriptions. Anything he can get with “bill me later”, he’ll sign up for. Then, again, when the bill arrives, he just throws it away. He’s also borrowed money from former friends/co-workers, but never made an attempt to pay them back. When they threatened him with civil suits, he simply filed bankruptcy (twice) to have the debts discharged. Before getting his own home, he had several roommates with whom he stiffed for rent & utility bills. He owed $5,000, $2,000, $700 & $200 to different people, but never paid them back. At one time, he had over 40 credit cards – which he ran up huge debts on impulse vacations and buying. That’s where his first bankruptcy came in. In the past couple years, he’s aquired several of those “second chance” credit cards for people w/bad credit. He even maxed those out w/o a care in the world. When the bill comes in, he tosses it. No obligation whatsover to pay it. He is not a phone person so it’s hard for creditors to reach him (purposely leaves his answering machine/voicemail off). If a creditor does get through, he’ll tell them they have the wrong number. He’s also run up numerous doctor, emergency room & ambulance bills (he has chronic asthma for which he had to be rushed to the ER a few times), but he makes no attempt to pay them. All the money he makes goes into his savings & retirement (except for mortgage, etc.). My parents and I do not know how to help him or why he does these things. My parents raised us to be responsible (Dad always paid the bills on time) and I do a good job of paying what I owe – even if I have to ask for an extension sometimes. We do not loan him any money – but my mother, especially, is so distraught over why he does this. I’ve asked him why he does this. He says he just got in over his head and wants to start fresh. But, he keeps doing it. He doesn’t learn. Has anyone else been through this? Why do people who can – NOT pay their bills?
Forgot to add: he’s also had numerous (maybe a dozen?) bank accounts for which he’d bounce several checks and then instead of making good on them, he’d let the account be closed & he’d open up another account at another bank.
Tags: 40s, Answering Machine, Bks, Brother, car insurance, Chronic Asthma, Civil Suits, Co Workers, creditor, Creditors, deadbeat, debtor, Emergency Room, False Names, Good Job, Invoices, Magazine Subscriptions, Phone Person, Roommates, Second Chance, Utility Bills, W Magazine, Wrong Number
1 Comment at "Why is my brother a deadbeat debtor?"
Bottomline. Your brother is irresponsible, and has things that he values more than meeting obligations to others. Also, he is in his 40s. He is an adult and can make adult choices. You should just ignore this. You can love him, but understand that he has a major failing in this area. And do not give him any money. And that goes doubly for your parents. It is waste of your mother’s time to be distraught. She did the best she could. He is an adult and is making his own bed. Just don’t enable him by helping him to lie in it. Good luck.